Monday, December 17, 2012

What are you going to stop doing?



Hello Friends, I know, I know … long time no blog post and believe me it has been with good reason. I will get into that one on my next blog entry but for now there are a few things that I felt worthy of sharing as this year comes to a close.
I believe that I have mentioned this in a previous blog and I’ll mention it again … I have the luxury (and I do mean luxury) of an excellent Peer Mentor, a quality individual who holds me accountable for the things that I say I’m going to accomplish, someone who adds insight and an objective perspective to the sometimes puzzling vicissitudes of life.  His name is Promod Sharma, and he is what is referred to in the UK as a ‘choice’ individual. He is trustworthy, highly intelligent, sane … for the most part, a highly respected professional, a person of great integrity, candid and doesn’t sugar coat things, trustworthy, and most of all fully invests chunks of his valuable time into helping me to flourish and grow as an individual.  I can only hope that I mirror right back all of those very same things to him.
The other day Promod asked me a very simple and yet profound question as to what I was going to stop doing.  It gave me great opportunity for pause and reflection and here are a few things that I have decided I will stop doing going forward and I challenge you to come up with your own list (and if you feel so inclined share it with me). 
Going forward here are the things that I commit to stop doing:
·         Wasting time with negative people out of some false sense of loyalty or because of not wanting to hurt their feelings (even though most times they are hurting mine)
·         Overextending myself out of some false sense of duty or mindlessly volunteering my time away instead of being completely mindful of where and with whom I would like to invest my time.
·         Being busy over being productive, constructive, or taking adequate rest to do absolutely nothing and just be …yes you heard me right … just BE
·         Staying up way too late and establishing a regular time for quality sleep …7 to 8 hours
·         Caring what others think ... I have absolutely no control over what people think and besides most people are fickle ... one minute they love you and next minute they hate you. Chasing people's opinion’s is like chasing the wind ... you just don't know which way they are going to blow so why be a partaker in futility? It’s absolutely senseless.
·         Associating or breaking bread with anyone that I do not like, respect, or trust or hanging around frivolous, shallow, or overly materialist people.  Net Worth vs. Life Worth – which one is more valuable?
·         Comparing myself to others who are seemingly more "successful" and continue to be more focused on my own definition of success. Comparison always breeds discontent. So if I ever veer over to this disempowering position I will be more mindful to stop it immediately.
·         Making excuses for not exercising at least 4 times per week and finding alternative ways to imbed exercise into my life as a staple even its salsa dancing or some intramural sport like volleyball or badminton.
·         Overeating out of boredom, stressful emotions, or mindlessness ... this one speaks for itself.  Only great health will enable one to accomplish great things.
·         Letting my mind wander to negative and disempowering thoughts. We can control our thoughts at any given moment of the day so I will intentionally choose to harness and focus my thoughts on more positive empowering things … noble goals!
·         Second guessing my gut and be single-minded vs. double-minded
I’m putting this list out there not only so that my peer mentor will hold me accountable but also to remind myself that if I miss the mark and start backsliding that I will more cognizant of how I’m living my life. There are many positive things that are born out of mindfulness and taking a long, hard, and honest look at one’s life has multi-dimensional benefits like wisdom, insight, epiphanies, and opportunities for personal growth.  My greatest hope as we all saunter into 2013 is that we can live our lives by choice and design and not by default.
So what are you going to stop doing?